1) what the fuck is the moon coming to? strange confessions by herbed-up senior citizens of unwanted masturbation. word. fuck. the end of the grocery world as we know it. nice try with the champagne fountain, you. the tequila shots were a nice goodbye, and the baby's arm gagger. wickedywack. i can't beleive i found eaglewood by bus-- so effed up and all.
2) aw, bono's "bewildered" and even "annoyed" that paul martin's a lying jerk. bono was duped. it's ok, he's not around to see paul's scaredy-cat face. earth to bono: we have alanis morrisette to help us out in times of political emergencies (ok, so we don't, but we have bryan adams around to take photos). doesn't ireland need you or something? or the kids in africa dying from mosquito bites? thanks, bono, but you can't save the liberals now.. but i guess you know that.
3) puppy piss and shit on my floor. why? because i had him "out to play" but really that meant me checking my email and asking him to stop chewing on my socks and not really watching him (sorry, big j). the worst part was not knowing about the feces, and not being able to get my company's bag thru the door until i picked up the shit, else the door would smear it all o'er my floor. daddy good times all right.
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