sometimes i get up

hmm fucking mmm. people often get sick of halifax and complain about it. i tell them to move out or suck it up. i love this city. i can be out in it or in and it doesn't matter much. i'm (so) high and listening to something bizarre and i just returned from the northend pub and have lots of unrealated ideas and sometimes i'm happy enough to smile about them and read about them and clean my room and bake a pie and wash my clothes and dishes and face in celebration of being alive, and well, sometimes i don't want to get out of bed.

a better waste of time

this shit has a lot more than the average time-wasting quiz. check it.


My Inner Hero - Wizard!





There are many types of magic, but all require a sharp mind and a cool head. There is no puzzle I can't solve, no problem I can't think my way out of. When you feel confused or uncertain, you can always rely on me to untangle the knots and put everything back in order for you.



How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.

thank you, poland. thank you, montreal.

poland, thank you for letting behemoth come to visit. i'm glad i stuck it out and went to the show. i'm glad i went up front so i could see the textures of their boots, clothes, sweat, hair, gauntlets, pentacles, belt buckles, guitars and imagine what they felt like. i could feel the spirit of polish metal. i could see that you liked us tonight, behemoth. thanks, also to necronomicon from montreal. they were also well-dressed and came complete with shiny, luscious hair. yes, i was listening to the music, i just happened to notice their boots and shit. hot stuff, halifax. we are so lucky to have cool bands come every once in a while. phemom.

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz.

sorry, pigeons-- this epidemic will all be over soon

i thought the avian flu was like SARS. i thought it was all media hype and old moribund people dying. no such luck. according to both news reports and a hot blond homeopath, avian flu kills the young and healthy-- yes, 20-30 year olds with strong immune systems. will i be knocked out for trying to take care of myself? possibly. should i worry? no. i'll just stop making out with pigeons.

suggestions for post-orgasmic operations

allow me to suggest here and now that it's not a good idea to rush off to a seminar or business meeting immediately after a particularly strong orgasm (particularly so if you've had two or so others in the last twelve hours). it could (and this is entirely speculation, of course) cause you to be jittery and/or shaky, dry-mouthed, spacy and flushed. if you had to introduce yourself and tell the group about your business just as you were sitting down-- arriving late of course-- you could feel as though you'd rather hide under the table or vomit or eat a piece of cake or at least share with the group why you're all aflustered: but of course, you can't. anyway, at least have a cup of tea before you leave the house-- and don't stash your rescue remedy in such a stupid place-- in theory, of course. this is just one of the many things you shouldn't try immediatly following an orgasm. allow me to list a few other poor post-orgasm moves:

1) sealing a deal like a contract, internet puchase, marriage proposal or anything slightly official

2) agreeing to get up and get anything from another room, either for yourself or someone else

3) teaching a cursive writing class

4) talking to your mom

5) anything not involving just fucking lying there

mount my poll

please note the poll on the sidebar and votey vote vote. thanks/merci.

....something that is foul.

we are the worst.

seven things about now and around now

a) i'm bored of my own blog because i don't post enough.
b) it snowed a few minutes ago, but i was lying in bed and missed it.
c) i'm the laziest businessperson alive.
d) i won $20 on a scratch ticket yesterday (crossword, of course), so went out for sushi and a peanut butter ball.
e) i had the shittiest sleep last night because the house was a hub of activity after 3:20 pm (three phone calls and three extra people, all drunk and yelling. i had to get up in two hours to work. i couldn't make it.
f) my dreams were about boring things like breakfast and the contents of my bedroom.
g) this is for the Gs and this is for the homies. this is for the homies, now back to the Gs.

open up and say CAW!

this morning the sky is like sky-colour that's been washed out a few times like a dirty mouth. the leaves on the tree outside my bathroom window are falling ill and scronky. outside, the scent of moribund nature trills past my nose, as my nipples enjoy the stiffness. it's production time in my house, and i'm up, fittingly, with the crows to (w)rap shit up-- but not before drinking the most killer tea that ever there was. again, i love you, yerba mate. i mean love like i'd-want-to-have-your-babies-if-you-weren't-a-plant love. if anyone wants to try some, come to my house: you can have a cup with a crow.

moonspell: make me breakfast

i like exploring metal from different countries. today it's portugese metal. they sound like they have blood and rocks chocolate in their mouths and sing like they want to fuck me. they win. i bet their lair would have skulls and red satin sheets and old horror movie memorabilia. oh, moonspell: kiss my neck and make me breakfast (i'd like vegan oat pancakes-- i can provide the real cumberland county maple syrup. also, some vanilla soymilk would be choice-- please add kahlua.)

beany's first northend trick or treat

as this was my first hallowe'en in the north end, i had a hypothesis about how trick or treating would go at my house, but no word from my neighbours on how it's gone in the past.my prediction rang true with our house being assaulted by gangs of kids, but i had the age bracket way wrong. i expected a bunch of hood kids sans parents, running around being all mayhemy. instead, i got 30 mothers with strollers, and orange treat bags on the end of a stick like a butterfly net, each with their requisite three children, saying trick or treat i like your costume you must be going downtown later and running away as quickly as they'd come. no dawdling for these moms. other highlights were the 35 year-old woman oh-so-sketchily dressed as what looked to be robin hood, alone, saying trick or treat without hardly looking at us and running off as quickly as she came, pillowcase in hand; and the scraggily man out to watch the kids, informing us about halifax wiccan celebrations (although he converted to buddhism long ago), telling us hallowe'en jokes and making sure we knew (for the little kids we might know) that robertmunsch.com has downloadable stories, and that "i have to go" has alternate endings, depending on which size book (big or small) that you read.

my period asks (and answers) three questions:

1) what was the most popular costume in your hood?

the most popular hallowe'en costume by far was (oddly) a lion costume.

2) what did you give out as treats?

my period offered fruit leathers (aka unsweetened and untrashy fruit rollups that don't really roll up), sesame snaps (ok, they were mostly there so i could eat them-- and em took some), optimum zen cereal, and comics (mostly older than old firestorm issues) at the door.

3) what was your freakiest hallowe'en moment?

the freakiest moment was probably after dilem, my brother, maven and i all got blitzed off the sea monkey bong and the doorbell rang, as we hadn't brought the jacko inside. i rushed down, reeking of pot, with my wings off, to hand out treats. the mom asked if i was a bat, which was a good guess, because i was. my brother and dilem suggested that i looked like a "whore with pig ears" which wasn't far off. when i got back upstairs, i didn't remember what the kids were dressed as, but i did remember that they were girls. we promptly brought the jack-o'lantern inside to avoid anymore supreme freakouts.

Halifax Hallowe'eny Police Report

In Cole Harbour, fire crews responded earlier in the evening to a reported brush fire. Firefighters ran a few hoses into the bush but it turned out to be an out of control bonfire that was quickly knocked down.

Police were also busy dealing with a fracas at Dalhousie University where a group of teenagers allegedly antagonized some students.

The taunting turned to violence, according to a witness, when one young person clubbed a student in the face with a bottle and another hit a student with a wrench.

A crowd of students subdued four of the attackers and police arrived a short time later to take the young people into custody shortly after 8 p.m.

The extent of injuries the victims suffered was not immediately known.

At about the same time, an assailant dressed as Santa Claus and an accomplice wearing green overalls and a Jason goalie mask barged into a Charles Street home.

One attacker stabbed at a man inside the home. He suffered a small, superficial wound, according to Staff Sgt. Don Fox of Halifax Regional Police.

The intruders fled and police continue to investigate.

An RCMP officer was slightly injured when a passing car clipped him during a traffic stop.

A female driver apparently did not see the constable as he spoke with the driver of a car he had pulled over in the area of 1715 St. Margarets Bay Rd. in Timberlea. The officer suffered a minor elbow injury, police said.

** In unreported news, firefighters were called to the corner of Cunard at Maynard where someone had set fire to a bag of garbage at the curb (and where the police were called for domestic violence on Christmas morning). Fortunately, the inhabitants managed to extinguish the fire with pans of water before the officials in shiny red arrived on the scene.