feeling trumps thinking again,
and i forgot
and therefore lost.
to the cottage for my "weekend" and it was almost purely awful. i didn't want to talk to my parents-- which made things awkward. my godfather was there-- who is yap yap yap-- one of the premiere roasting fiends blake and i ever knew. he is more left-wing than i remembered-- but still, of course, grilled my every comment-- which i was too tired to care about, or react to.
what are you, some kind of commie or something?
do you still have horrible haste in music?
i'd have to be dead before i'd try soy.
i wish women would learn how to do outside work.
and so mostly, i ate mom's vegan comfort food
and wrote in my journal.
monday's weather was cold and windy-- which was awful because the plasticky-metallic tyvac paper shit kept crinkling and fucking around in the wind, which created the most horrific and annoying noise (so i thought). the real most horrific and annoying noise was my father and godfather shingling on the cottage. i was such an idiot to think i could possibly get any relaxing done in this atmosphere. basically it came down to this being the last weekend i could possibly go to the cottage this summer. i should've left it as it was-- perfect. but i had to go and fuck it up by hating my time there and regretting my decision to go there. that night,i fell asleep on my journal with the light off. this rarely happens. i was fucking beat. this at 10:00 too. embarassing even.
tuesday: i took some deef with me, and a lighter with a half ml of lighter fluid, which got me thru a bit, and enabled me to eventually talk to my grandparents, after i'd been ignoring them for an hour or so. i found a good place to smoke, in back of a familar cottage (there are only about three cottagers down this time of year). it was sunny, with lots o' wildlife around.it's amusing to add this never-before-seen-dimension to the cottage experience. i wished blake had been there.
the best part of the afternoon, was then taking a stroll up to the "other end" of the beach, sitting on someone else's lawn chair, then slipping off my kicks and seeking a patch of hot dry sand to bury my feet into. stared at the creek for a while. collected some some beach glass for a possible mosaic table that i might make some day. found some hot dry sand and rubbed it on my left leg for like five or so minutes. why? because it felt awesome, and because i could, and because i don't have sand to rub on my leg at home. i didn't think the afternoon could get any better, and i also thought there was a still possibility that mom would take me to pedvag (a thrift store in port elgin), so i went back to the cottage, even tho i also thought there was a possibility that my grandparents would be there. nope to pedvag. yes to gparents. ugh. i mean, they're allright and all, but i have to be prepared. basically i offered up a lot of yesses and nos to nana's questions. grampie just says "eghn?" a lot. it gets pretty uncomfortable and annoying. i wish it didn't, but it's always kind of been like that with him, just in different ways. nana and i and mom discussed war cake, which was a good time. i can make it, since it's vegan, and this __mas i probably will. look out for your piece.
at night, the hockey game was on, which was surprisingly ok because my godfather actually talked to me while it was on, and then i went upstairs and caught up with a couple of my away- peeps via phone. then tried to empty my head by watching tv, but the shows i chose were a little too empty-- friends and that 70s show. i had too much room to think, thus continued feeling nauseous. slept.
wenesday: really pumped to return to the city (oddly). enough clangabangbanging on the side of the house. deef: repeat. behind the same cottage, but this time i needed to pilfer matches from the medicine cabinet. used them all. they made it taste chemically and horrid, and then i used them up and only got a bit. ah! sat on the diving stand which is up on land now. laid there and a) compiled a mental list of places i want to have sex at my beach and b) forgot about living for a bit. for lunch, i had lentils, rice, strifry and raisin bread. tried to talk to mom, did okay. got on the bus and sat with a guy who'd been on since edmonton, 92 hours. he didn't bother me. read. slept. i'm here. greg bought a computer. tried again to give me photoshop lessons. i scanned something. now i'm ready for bed and just wrote arguably the most boring blog entry ever.
sorry.
je suis desole.
estoy apesadumbrado.
that's as many languages as i know
(and i had to look up the spanish to geezis remind me!).
and i forgot
and therefore lost.
to the cottage for my "weekend" and it was almost purely awful. i didn't want to talk to my parents-- which made things awkward. my godfather was there-- who is yap yap yap-- one of the premiere roasting fiends blake and i ever knew. he is more left-wing than i remembered-- but still, of course, grilled my every comment-- which i was too tired to care about, or react to.
what are you, some kind of commie or something?
do you still have horrible haste in music?
i'd have to be dead before i'd try soy.
i wish women would learn how to do outside work.
and so mostly, i ate mom's vegan comfort food
and wrote in my journal.
monday's weather was cold and windy-- which was awful because the plasticky-metallic tyvac paper shit kept crinkling and fucking around in the wind, which created the most horrific and annoying noise (so i thought). the real most horrific and annoying noise was my father and godfather shingling on the cottage. i was such an idiot to think i could possibly get any relaxing done in this atmosphere. basically it came down to this being the last weekend i could possibly go to the cottage this summer. i should've left it as it was-- perfect. but i had to go and fuck it up by hating my time there and regretting my decision to go there. that night,i fell asleep on my journal with the light off. this rarely happens. i was fucking beat. this at 10:00 too. embarassing even.
tuesday: i took some deef with me, and a lighter with a half ml of lighter fluid, which got me thru a bit, and enabled me to eventually talk to my grandparents, after i'd been ignoring them for an hour or so. i found a good place to smoke, in back of a familar cottage (there are only about three cottagers down this time of year). it was sunny, with lots o' wildlife around.it's amusing to add this never-before-seen-dimension to the cottage experience. i wished blake had been there.
the best part of the afternoon, was then taking a stroll up to the "other end" of the beach, sitting on someone else's lawn chair, then slipping off my kicks and seeking a patch of hot dry sand to bury my feet into. stared at the creek for a while. collected some some beach glass for a possible mosaic table that i might make some day. found some hot dry sand and rubbed it on my left leg for like five or so minutes. why? because it felt awesome, and because i could, and because i don't have sand to rub on my leg at home. i didn't think the afternoon could get any better, and i also thought there was a still possibility that mom would take me to pedvag (a thrift store in port elgin), so i went back to the cottage, even tho i also thought there was a possibility that my grandparents would be there. nope to pedvag. yes to gparents. ugh. i mean, they're allright and all, but i have to be prepared. basically i offered up a lot of yesses and nos to nana's questions. grampie just says "eghn?" a lot. it gets pretty uncomfortable and annoying. i wish it didn't, but it's always kind of been like that with him, just in different ways. nana and i and mom discussed war cake, which was a good time. i can make it, since it's vegan, and this __mas i probably will. look out for your piece.
at night, the hockey game was on, which was surprisingly ok because my godfather actually talked to me while it was on, and then i went upstairs and caught up with a couple of my away- peeps via phone. then tried to empty my head by watching tv, but the shows i chose were a little too empty-- friends and that 70s show. i had too much room to think, thus continued feeling nauseous. slept.
wenesday: really pumped to return to the city (oddly). enough clangabangbanging on the side of the house. deef: repeat. behind the same cottage, but this time i needed to pilfer matches from the medicine cabinet. used them all. they made it taste chemically and horrid, and then i used them up and only got a bit. ah! sat on the diving stand which is up on land now. laid there and a) compiled a mental list of places i want to have sex at my beach and b) forgot about living for a bit. for lunch, i had lentils, rice, strifry and raisin bread. tried to talk to mom, did okay. got on the bus and sat with a guy who'd been on since edmonton, 92 hours. he didn't bother me. read. slept. i'm here. greg bought a computer. tried again to give me photoshop lessons. i scanned something. now i'm ready for bed and just wrote arguably the most boring blog entry ever.
sorry.
je suis desole.
estoy apesadumbrado.
that's as many languages as i know
(and i had to look up the spanish to geezis remind me!).
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