last night too zonked to write-- fell fast asleep uncharacteristically early.
this morn, pumped to blog retroactively, was half-way done and the power flickered off. asshole.
so now, about yesterday:
had a mysterious appointment with a bowel nurse, kelly phallen-kelly (yes, really her name). she explained that her role is a new one in the G.I. (gastrointestinal) health care team, that she is basically responsible for the non-medication and surgery issues of the IBD (irritable bowel disease) patient. nice to have someone like that, i told her. so she was a good nurse, she's referred me for a second bone density scan (the awful steroids i was on for a year robbed a good chunk o' calcium from my little bones, gotta check on 'em), and we discussed me having a scope. i said i wanted one, hadn't had one since my diagnosis in '96. nobody's been keen to give me one, which has been pissing me off because i don't ask for much from the healthcare system. she asked me if dr. leddin had explained why they didn't want to bother, and i said no and she said well, where you have the disease, in your small bowel, there's not a risk of bowel cancer. i looked puzzled, and she said, you only have it in your small bowel, eh? that's what your chart says. and i was like, well, i think i have disease in my large bowel, but hell, it's been a long time since we've discussed specifics, say 8 years, but i think that.. so she conceded to look back in my charts and lo and behold, back in the beginning, my charts announced that yes indeed-- i have (or had, 8 years ago-- thinks could be either better or worse since then) 10 cm of rot in my small bowel (near where it attaches to my large) and 15 (yes, more than in my small) cm of rot in my large bowel, near my hepatic flecture. sweet-- so i DO have an increased cancer risk. i thought i was at a normal risk for colon cancer for two weeks. nice sigh for no reason. so she said that i could have a colonoscopy in one or two years, which excited me (most would be surprised to hear of somebody WANTING to take 1.5 bottles of lemon-salt flavoured laxatives, shitting everything but your teeth out, having your colon filled with air under pressure-- making you appear about six months pregnant, so much to that you can't even sit up, and have Drs stick a camera up your ass, creating an immense amount of pain that you can feel but can't express-- but it's a surprisingly fun time). so this takes me to being pissed off that my health care team hasnn't bothered to look back in my files to see that i have disease in both bowels, thus necessitating frequent cancer screening. fuck them. read my GD charts. compare them. look back one geezis appointment to see that i haven't been on medication for 5 years. sure i am oversimplifying, but fuck that noise! so i have this nagging balloon- thing behind/under my left ribcage. i can press it in and it pops back out, and it pisses me off and makes me wonder. my regular GI guy thinks it could be gas trapped there (which makes little sense, considering it's been there AT ALL TIMES for the past two years, even when i've fasted for five days),and this nurse thought it could be a lymph node. what the fuck? unbelievable, but not really. so now i want my charts. anyone have any experience with getting your charts from the hospital? i need some advice. i need it so i can make sure there's nothing else they're missing, plus i am curious, plus, i'd like to have it for my bowel zine i'm compiling. oh, and i have perianal disease. i suppose i've had it for a few years, but have never been tagged with the term. CHOICE!
so last night, i was singing the dirties song "suck my father's worm," when i decided (in jest, of course) to ask greg if he would suck his father's worm. he said he'd rather choose death. so i said, so would you ever suck another man's worm? and he said well, maybe for... and so i started naming prices and i think i got him to agree to $50,000 or something, and i said, whoa, i'd perform cunnilingus for a lot less than that and to that he said, yeah, we know your price, to which blake suggested something like $13 and while i was considering it, greg suggested that maybe i'd do it for a clif bar.
cunnilingus for a clif bar?
catch me in a desperate time, and i'm game.
this morn, pumped to blog retroactively, was half-way done and the power flickered off. asshole.
so now, about yesterday:
had a mysterious appointment with a bowel nurse, kelly phallen-kelly (yes, really her name). she explained that her role is a new one in the G.I. (gastrointestinal) health care team, that she is basically responsible for the non-medication and surgery issues of the IBD (irritable bowel disease) patient. nice to have someone like that, i told her. so she was a good nurse, she's referred me for a second bone density scan (the awful steroids i was on for a year robbed a good chunk o' calcium from my little bones, gotta check on 'em), and we discussed me having a scope. i said i wanted one, hadn't had one since my diagnosis in '96. nobody's been keen to give me one, which has been pissing me off because i don't ask for much from the healthcare system. she asked me if dr. leddin had explained why they didn't want to bother, and i said no and she said well, where you have the disease, in your small bowel, there's not a risk of bowel cancer. i looked puzzled, and she said, you only have it in your small bowel, eh? that's what your chart says. and i was like, well, i think i have disease in my large bowel, but hell, it's been a long time since we've discussed specifics, say 8 years, but i think that.. so she conceded to look back in my charts and lo and behold, back in the beginning, my charts announced that yes indeed-- i have (or had, 8 years ago-- thinks could be either better or worse since then) 10 cm of rot in my small bowel (near where it attaches to my large) and 15 (yes, more than in my small) cm of rot in my large bowel, near my hepatic flecture. sweet-- so i DO have an increased cancer risk. i thought i was at a normal risk for colon cancer for two weeks. nice sigh for no reason. so she said that i could have a colonoscopy in one or two years, which excited me (most would be surprised to hear of somebody WANTING to take 1.5 bottles of lemon-salt flavoured laxatives, shitting everything but your teeth out, having your colon filled with air under pressure-- making you appear about six months pregnant, so much to that you can't even sit up, and have Drs stick a camera up your ass, creating an immense amount of pain that you can feel but can't express-- but it's a surprisingly fun time). so this takes me to being pissed off that my health care team hasnn't bothered to look back in my files to see that i have disease in both bowels, thus necessitating frequent cancer screening. fuck them. read my GD charts. compare them. look back one geezis appointment to see that i haven't been on medication for 5 years. sure i am oversimplifying, but fuck that noise! so i have this nagging balloon- thing behind/under my left ribcage. i can press it in and it pops back out, and it pisses me off and makes me wonder. my regular GI guy thinks it could be gas trapped there (which makes little sense, considering it's been there AT ALL TIMES for the past two years, even when i've fasted for five days),and this nurse thought it could be a lymph node. what the fuck? unbelievable, but not really. so now i want my charts. anyone have any experience with getting your charts from the hospital? i need some advice. i need it so i can make sure there's nothing else they're missing, plus i am curious, plus, i'd like to have it for my bowel zine i'm compiling. oh, and i have perianal disease. i suppose i've had it for a few years, but have never been tagged with the term. CHOICE!
so last night, i was singing the dirties song "suck my father's worm," when i decided (in jest, of course) to ask greg if he would suck his father's worm. he said he'd rather choose death. so i said, so would you ever suck another man's worm? and he said well, maybe for... and so i started naming prices and i think i got him to agree to $50,000 or something, and i said, whoa, i'd perform cunnilingus for a lot less than that and to that he said, yeah, we know your price, to which blake suggested something like $13 and while i was considering it, greg suggested that maybe i'd do it for a clif bar.
cunnilingus for a clif bar?
catch me in a desperate time, and i'm game.
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