i returned from the valley because i had promised my customers i'd deliver today and to see c'mon at the pavillion. somehow i missed another c'mon show. i fucked up and got the date wrong, or the motherfuckers changed it. being too lazy to make with the goods last night, i redeemed the day by seeing a mummy. my brother and josie invited me to the art gallery to see christo's work (yeah, mostly nope) and we realized that the art of the ancient world exhibit was also on. mummies are fascinating! lots of cool ancient shit, some 6000 years old. six thousand. s-i-x t-h-o-u-s-a-n-d! unfuckingbelievable. that ancient greeks, romans and egyptians bothered to craft such remarkable works floored me. "ok, honey, you need a tiny pot for your perfume? let's see, i have a pyramid to built by friday, but i think i can fit in engraving an intricate scene on your perfume pot while you grind the kamut for supper. whaddaya say?" seriously. i realize they didn't have a lot of choice. our things are such shit. if something we have is pretty, it's generally a copy of a copy of a copy manufactured at some stupid christly factory or it's crafted by a talented, caring artist and i often can't afford to have it. i believe pieces created by small artisans are worth purchasing, but at this stage, i can mostly only afford to buy something utilitarian, manufactured and made without a care. anyway, back to the mummy. i was teeming with anticipation of seeing the mummy and finally we came upon it. first, the inner case. it was made from a paper-mache-like substance and fitted around the body of pennu, now mummified. it was so incredible to know that i was staring at a mummified body that was over 3000 years old. you could make out the indent of her kneecaps. the case was decorated so ornately with lots of scenes and shit, assumedly representing her life. the bottoms of her feet had a bull painted on them. this bull carried the soul into the afterlife. pretty. fucking. cool. i just stared at her for a while and got lost. christ. then i made myself look around a little more, althogh my thoughts were with pennu. i did manage to become fascinated with four urn-like jars, two (which ones!?) of which still housed the extracted organs (bowels, stomach, lungs) from a mummy. a mummy's brain is discarded, which seems so fucked considering the egyptians took so much care to preserve the head. hmm... anyway, pennu's outer case was pretty fly too. after seeing her, i couldn't concentrate on anything else and the pottery exhibit we for some reason bothered to check out afterward was laughable and ho-hummy by comparison. ooohhh, those cups are from the 16th century, how old! whatever-- i just saw a MUMMY! i must say, i was tempted to ruin history and attempt to jump thru the glass and try to pry pennu's papermache coat off, but i knew i wouldn't get far. the jailtime would probably be worth touching a mummy before anyone else. it would beat buying a metallica album at midnight on the release date or even coming across a copy months before its release. it would be the coolest thing ever. but then i'd probably regret, or at least feel bad for, ruining history.
p.s. i've changed my mind. move over cremation, i'm gonna be mummified. my embalmer gets to wear a cool anubis helmet mask. any takers?
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