pumpkins of mass destruction (two stories)

me: i want six pumpkins from the county-- blake, bring me back six pumpkins from the county.
blake: uh, ok.
(travel by bus)
blake: ma, bean wants six pumpkins.
ma: oh you want a pumpkin do you blake?
blake: no, ma-- bean wants six pumpkins.
ma: oh , here's two for you-- give one to your sister.
blake: i don't want the damn pumpkins, they're for bean, and she wants six. make with the fucking pumpkins!
ma: hehenope.
(travel back by bus)
blake: here're some pumpkins for you from the county.
bean: fuck-- i wanted six.

so i bought a hardcore peeler (she was expensive, but the bitch was worth it) and went to town on her. it took me 40 minutes to rip all her skin off which was surprising-- she looked desperately easy. her flesh was so beautiful, with lots of rosy-peach undertones. as my solid instrument seared through her supple, young rural skin, i begin to notice tiny beads of dewy nectar seep through her pores as she rocked below me. i put a drop to my lips and quivered at the sweet delicate flavour of her lifeblood. as i scraped the final bits of skin from her corpse, i paused to view her ravaged body as a whole before i plunged my hand deep inside her and tore her apart. with a grin, i explored her inner reaches until i the point of no return. her aromatic flesh, so sinewy and alive drove me to spew seed all over the linoleum. i gathered the seed, and stored it for future rituals. from my hands i licked the flesh and lifeblood and reviewed the scene of destruction in a state of supreme fulfillment, sticky clothing and a promise to remember this forvever.