clutter clearing and butter fearing

blogging has indeed fallen by the wayside, giving me insight into what would almost inevitably occur if i let myself miss just one day with my paper journal. initially, i didn't feel i could miss a day here-- thinking i owed something to my faithful readers. then i was all like: fuck that! my most faithful readers almost all have blogs who also don't post every day. and so i let shit slip, and here i am. not much is terribly new. i've been laying pretty low, not being terribly social-- not in any sort of an intense way, anyway. i haven't gone to see a show in a couple of weeks-- which i'm missing. looking forward a few in the coming weeks, most notably gunts n' roses on december 9 at reflections, b.a. johnston with jack macdonald at the khyber on december 10th and the heavy blinkers at stage 9 on december 18. will i get to all these shows? perhaps it's unlikely-- but they'll keep my heart ticking until then, despite the dreadful holiday looming over me. luckily, i've been able to miss most of the holiday onslaught because of the choices i've made so far. my workplace decorates quite minimally and tastefully for the holidays, i've seen but a few houses lit up so far, intentionally missed the parade of lights and haven't been to a mall. the shopper's drugmart christmas shit has been up for a long time now, as have the riduculous piles of toys and other missmas nonsense at the grocery store. this is perhaps the first year where i genuinely don't care whether christmas happens or not. i mean, my family (prompted by brutha and i) has "cancelled" christmas before-- which i have to admit was a pisspoor attempt at cancelling it: we still had a tree, a nice dinner and gifts-- but mostly it was donations to charity. it was fun, but wasn't fulfilling enough for everyone to do it again. this year i've solely requested cash from my parents, from which with i can buy a bunch of cds and pants or shoes and books and whatnot. we'll see if they can go thru with my request. i fucking doubt it. i hate gifts that i won't like or use. at least i can say that i've asked to not have them. brutha love and i are going home for a few days just prior to the blessed holiday: lots of smake and late nights with the golden girls will get us through. i'm sure i will be kind of sad when christmas actually arrives and it's a non-event. i can just picture me sitting around the house smoking a bowl with a glass of spiked soynog, listening to tool and eating granola with soymilk, banana and carob chips along with some veggie bacon and ketchup, and perhaps crying-- just for the fuck of it. this actually wouldn't be the worst event. i'm alone-- greg's with his torments (i mean parents) and blake's doing a crossword puzzle at the front desk or something-- bored off his cock. then maybe i'll go to sleep. this makes christmas sound ideal. hopefully by then we'll have found a place to live. our progress has been minimal, as nobody's been returning our calls. tomorrow i'll take a trot around our preferred neighbourhoods looking for a gem. that and dig thru my stuff and clear a lot of stuff away. i read some of my clear your clutter with feng shui book, put on the least serious, yet most positive music i could find that has no negative or even any real emotional baggage at all. oh danko, how i do love thee! the outcome? i weeded 125 books from my collection. it was difficult to do, but once i applied the feng shui guidelines, it was a cinch and i feel good about my decision. some of you are probably thinking-- how could she get rid of books? i mean they're books-- precious books! yeah, well, i thought the same thing, but what's the point of having a bunch of anything around it they don't mean enough to you to have already read them, and realistically you won't-- probably ever? if i want these books in the future, i'll look them up. for now, i still have many to keep me busy,and i'm stoked about all of them. you're welcome to come over and have a rummage thru them if you like. other than that, shit all is new in a physical sense. am about to make a batch of granola bars, perhaps my final test batch before i go big and make a batch to sell at the store. i just need a name and logo. any ideas? i'm so tired lately, perhaps because i've been getting more sleep. this mayn't make sense to you, nor does it really with me-- but i guess it's throwing my body for a bit of a loop. i've been lethargic and pissy. i want to punch almost everybody-- including myself (is there a juijitsu move that i could use to kick the shit out of myself?) at a certain point in the night. i'm almost there. luckily there's nobody home to taste my wrath. i've been having some mild epiphanies-- which normally do come when i do some clutter clearing. my bowels have also been doing pretty well functionwise, altho my body's been a little (understatement) bloaty. i know mostly how to remedy this, but i want to pretend i don't. sugar: i still hate you. i am, tho, out of bread (i'm out of chips i'm out of chips i'm out of chips-- and i'm out of chips!), so that also helps. tomorrow i hope to use as my productive day out of my three days off. wednesday is devoted to the bush demonstration, about which i am pumped. it's been a while since i've been involved in a good protest. you should go.