offers of everything i ever wanted and dreamed on this day of my birth barfed 26 times. even tho this mom-athon began yesterday, i thought of her a lot today because she might've been thinking of me. i called her a whore to a practical stranger in the last few months and she's like a stranger to me. i thought of her when i first opened my eyes. i had a happy birthday song in the next 20 seconds. and an etch-a-sketch happy birthday baby and another heavy blinkers reference in my inbox and a ciao bella from roma, italy and a sumo wish from j-land and an early call from my one and only and a hungover wish from my bro and periodic calls from my lover and a visit from pals and random calls and emails and yes yes and from my parents who stopped listening to me halfway thru me telling them important drivel.
but you can fucking FORGET a plain simple vanilla birthday wish from he whom i spent nearly five years with. i still buy his vitamins. i saw him last week. i ask him about his whatever girl. it sliced me with the grain: i am so used to this. i'd say i don't care, but i'd be fucking kidding myself. all i can say is je ne suis pas surprised. you're fucking lucky i'll forgive you, mais je me ne souviens, or whatever translation. perhaps je n'oubliez pas or something. fuck. forget it.
i smoked and knit so much i got dizzy, i had a glass of gin and i split a sundae with my bro and i had my second breakfast made for me (thanks, cafe vienna) and didn't even have supper. and i ate the same thing at the end of the day that i did in the beginning: two pieces of kamut toast with creamy soynut butter and guest apple strawberry jam.
i got a pentagram and moon cycles and a nudge from bridgewater and a shuffle and a mitful of advice about living and some inspiration to keep on keepin' on c/o my horrorscope and maybe i'll even do something i want to do. anne heche was also born today, but i'm probably gayer than her.
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