how mush-room do i have to eff around before __mas?

with the three of us having less than two hours of sleep each, we three take the #6 to armdale/spryedge and each chew a g of BC bluecap before noon. this was my first attempt, and within minutes i felt nauseous and needed my belly rubbed. i also felt some internal pressure, but it wasn't painful. ten minutes later, the wood panelling got all wacky, i recorded some of my observations on the laptop, then proceeded to make a warm nest for myself on the corner of the couch while the boys tried to convince me to go outside with them. not a chance. i closed my eyes and saw some amazing images-- lots of stuff that reminded me of lots of weed and shroom-inspired art i've seen-- especially those designed with computers. lots of stretching and expanding, flowing and bright glitter. haha. around the time when they mention they are definitely going outside, the images render themselves frightening and dark. i begin to weep lightly, and try to remind myself that i'm fond of dark images-- so what the fuck? after prodding me and touching me and making sure i was ok, they went outside to chill for a bit, and i decide to get up and record some shit on the laptop. i decide to let go of what needed to be released, and cried out of concern for othersand pecked out (with fair difficulty) my dark sightings. decay and fright-- but it was beautiful. lots of golds and dark crimsons and everchanging but definite darkness. as i wept at the laptop, his roomate (who i've never met) returns home and i try to stay composed as i explain to him who i was, shake his hand with mine wet from tears, and tell him the whereabouts and whyabouts of his roomate. he fled. i retreated again to the couch and covered myself with the grey blanket, resuming the terror/delight. i didn't want to open my eyes. i began to feel kind of alone, but was aware why i was feeling it, and in control enough to not let it engulf me. they came back inside, wiped my tears and held me and teilo needed to leave and said i didn't need to go. i could scarcely move, so i stayed. we popped in alice in wonderland, the cartoon which is what i needed. television stopped my trip. i wasn't terribly engrossed in the story, but i watched with great interest-- the interest of keeping me grounded and present. once i finally opened my eyes to watch the movie, i couldn't imagine closing them again. we chatted throughout the movie (after hearing that altho it was really nice to hear me chat that he really liked movies) which was ok. i stayed prostrate and when the film was over, i wanted the tv marathon to continue. the cosby show. beyonce and missy elliott videos. western movies. oprah. whatever. i needed to be entertained. something familiar-- even if it was something i normally avoid. at some point i sat up, smiled, ate two veggie dogs and some garlic soynuts, packed our bags and fled into the blueskied day. nice. i probably should've gone out earlier, but i just couldn't. we walked home and watched the ducks and clouds and i watched him skate and it wasd refreshing, altho fresh i was not. in retrospect, not a bad trip, especially since i was well-taken care of and comfortable. i have a very specific and exclusive plan for my potential next one. for supper i was craving sushi, so after listening to the radio show, i went alone to andy's for vegetarian combo a and wrote while i awaited the sushi for my soul-vag. i read exclaim while i ate. came home, packed, made cookies and ate them with soymilk. such was my day. such is my night. i should probably get some sleep. don't fret-- in january i will be hardcore. i feel pretty awesome right now. shit. i have to get out of here and get ready to celebrate jeebus's something or other. eff.