memory fades

... and my memory fades to black, as I took in hardly any nutrition and did nothing but kill healthy braincells on the weekend.. but I promised I'd finish the wedding weekend.
so, we were dancing... and then the dj kicked us out, and we requested one last song (i don't remember what it was now) and he obliged and then finally we had to leave.
so onto the beach we went, as the festivities were far from over.
there was a nice fire already going, so basically everyone kept drinking and smoking and chatting and standing by the fire and going for walks and coming back looking dishevelled-- unsuitable for a job interview.
there was a back-to-back joe whitty video viewing which several of us missed- but i'm sure we'll eventually see it. joe jesus in his briefs is not to be missed!
and blake and i and janice went swimming again which was awesome. lovely that we went swimming while drunk, eh? i have to say i was kind of concerned, not about myself, but about either or both of them. janice and blake swam in their underwear, but since i had none on, i had to swim in my (ok, emily's) dress-- which was a good time, anyway. lots of screaming and the surf was much rougher than the night before. got pulled under a few times. lost the top of my dress once. chris got that peep show. i eventually covered my tits when i figured out what happened. so eventually we got out of the sea of course, janice went off somewhere (maybe with mark?) and i had to help blake find his clothes. it was funny that he was running around freezing in his underwear, having no idea where his shirt, pants or shoes were. oddly enough, they were separated and he never did find his shirt. ha. then he went back to get one from the room.
and i should've gone to change, but instead i stgayed by the fire, put on another shirt, eventually greg's suit jacket and even after that, a beige shirt and grey joggin pants of brian's and looked so odd for me apparently, that i was walking beside em and she didn't recognise me-- "I didn't recognise you not in black."
and i don't really remember many of the specifics of the night besides that i didn't make out with janice, but luckily for her she got her fill. it might've been a good time, tho, if i had.
and that everyone was a champ and fun to be with and funny and made me wish that everyone lived close altho then the novelty would wear off but at least it would be fun to live by the beach oh so fun i miss the beach desperately.
so i went home at 3:30 or so with the rest of the crew besides Nataliie an hour or so before that, and andy came at 5:30 and Greg at 6:30. He was chuckling about something and i told him to shut up and swore at him until he finally did.
and emily and chris woke up at 10am and said hey we have to check out in an hour and chris became mollymaid and started wiping the place clean and we signed out shortly after 11. on our way out, we saw janice and crew (andy called them something funny that i wish i could remember), ryan, casey, crystal and meaghan and her family (who kept staring at my porno for pyros shirt dissaprovingly and then said they had to go). it sucked hard to leave, and as i was checking out, i told the girl working the front desk what a wonderful time i had and i got choked up.
we had our group of seven packed tightly into the grey durango and got as far as bridgewater before we needed to stop to eat. i was a badass and got subway. i wish it had tasted better, but at least it didn't make me as sick as i predicted it would. and the ride home was a blast, we listened to hiphop a good part of the way, and of course discussed the weekend and also laid low for parts. and we dropped everyone off and it was sad to see everyone go-- the worst part about a roadtrip- the end of it. and chris went to work and i went to andy's (the restaurant, not patil) for sushi and wrote for a long time, and everyone did their own thing and i felt like calling everyone to hang out, but being alone was much needed too.
at least being there revived me in many ways. my mood is way better and i am smiling and i feel fresher and more positive which i was in dire need of lately because i was a living (but barely) sour dark lump (which is definitely a good time sometimes, but can get old and disabling).
and i can only retain so much of what went on since then.
last night i guess i watched 13 going on 30 which made me cackle which is what i like in a lot of movies now. i used to enjoy deep, dark films-- but now i have to be in the mood for them. now i just like to be amused and maybe cry for a few minutes, but have the ending happy. so that's that. and i saw mr. hubley, a quinpool classic, who is cool because he calls me madeline (a la the cartoon) and he lost 40 lbs by starting to smoke again which he didn't want to tell me but he says he feels 100% better now, so whatever works, i guess. seeing folks like him around remind me how much i love living in halifax, and specifically in the hood i live in. i like events that make things constant, things that are due to happen anytime and then they do.
and today i slept in and hung around the house in my pajamas and i don't even know what i did besides talk to greg and argue about dividing up the trip expenses and then i had a nap that was interrupted by mom calling which was nice because i hadn't spoken with her in a while and she told me nana is in a lot of pain and i then cleaned a bit and wrote and watched some morning television and drank a smoothie and then ordered a kamut pizza for supper and saw chris's head zooming by the TD back and me running after him altho i couldn't see him for all the people in front of me and nobody gave way to let me by altho i was running and wondering if it was him because i also saw a white shirt and thought it might not be him but it was and he had his headphones in and i ran into him and he said he almost punched me and i said well i guess i would've deserved it and he said well no but i would've felt bad and then he came to the heartwood with me and em came and then we ate the za in chris's backyard which is a great backyard to be in and then she went downtown with the girls and i went downtown too because blake called and said i have one small word for you-- acai and so we went for smoothies and i really wanted to go to diomio and he also really wanted icecream but we used our willpower and got smoothies and he wished he'd gotten acai and i can't get anything else but because you can'y get it anywhere else and it's amazing and it's my crack-- that and cinnamonos which i would also love to have right now and then we went to the library where i discovered that there's a huge biography section in the basement and got a margaret laurence bio and an exercise DVD which I probably won't do and blake got a cool gay murdermystery book and a canadian scifi one and then he had to return to work after a 19--day vacation and of course he didn't want to and me i'd probably rather shove a knife in my milkglands and on my way home i experienced one of my fave things about summer which is summer nights and how they are the perfect temperature and what a nice tone everything and everyone emits and i walked thru the citadel and they're building a stage for an acadie show on sunday night which i should go to and maybe will but not likely and got a red pepper and some frozen blueberries at the superstore and i wished they'd had avocados and garlic tofu but no such luck so i got chocolate and a fitness mag at shoppers and came home and no messages oh wait one from em saying she was drinking with the girls and so i poured a glass of mineral water on ice and sat down to write and realized i should do this and now there are knuckleheads with acoustic geetars and jimbays (sp) on the front balcony and i feel like pushing them off because it's right beside where i want to read because the breeze is there and i'd join them if they were good but at least they're not terrible and now my wrist is hurting as badly as it did last night, so i must go grab my frozen cranberries and do it riiight up.