Friday, July 30, 2004

An Ant'sLife

I've had an "ant problem" for a week or so now. The worst part of the ant problem was how I anticipated Greg would react when he came home. Very surprising. He was cool as a November morning. Quite different from the jam, and dowel incidents (among others).
I thought I found where they were getting in, and blocked it with some grey gummy putty I should've put around my doors to make it warmer and cheaper in my flat last winter. I also poured Borax and cinnamon all over my kitchen, in small trails, high mountains (for an ant, ok?), small smatterings, and trails. They were pissed and scared at first. Initially, they really hated the cinnamon and wouldn't go anywhere near it. Then they became more resilient and didn't even care when I scoured the countertops with soap, apple cider vinegar and water.
Bastards.
Then when I went away, Emily cleaned up one crazy colony in the cupboard. Blake annihilated a bunch of them as I turned away.
I pretty much forgot about the ants, and resigned to peaceful coexistence with them.
But then, right before I was about to retire last night, at 2:30 in the a.m, I saw the craziest trail of them-- jesus millions of them-- stretching from my recycling/garbo area to my basement door.
It was fascinating, really.
They weren't carrying anything that I could see-- just running under the door, really quite quickly. I haven't seen them carry anything. Is there an invisible delicious nothing in my kitchen that I'm missing? Could I be saving money on my groceries?
Anyway, I plugged up their pathway to the outside world.
And I felt like an asshole for doing it.
I won't kill them-- no, I wouldn't consider it. But I will, however, make it nearly impossible for these ants, who are only doing what ants do, to see any of their friends and family that didn't already make the trek from the crack under my door to the outdated cushion floor in my kitchen.
Screw you and your families.
Separated forever.
I might as well have killed them slowly by shaking them around in a bucket for an hour.
This is my battle, though, as I've chosen it.
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