come a little closer

a day where this seems appropriate. a day of thinking of actively doing and not just thinking of it, and by it, i must mean something. an important friend who constantly inspires the kind of self-questioning that allows me to wash my hair and get outta here each morning (or afternoon....), is leaving soon. i try to ignore it, but it's happening. everything about the situation makes me at the same time fearfully naseous and gleeful/hopeful. dry mouth. the inspired but the paralysed. the piece of me who has just listened to an hour of honest pleaing and venting. the piece of me that lies muffled under a pile of dirty black summer shirts. and the piece that actually wants change, but is drowning in its own blood. if glen allen anzalone was not glenn danzig, i ?wonder? what i'd be doing right now-- and always, when things are all afuck.