pessimism works!

i'm mostly a pessimist. i probably represent in the following order:

pessimist

realist

idealist

optimist

i'm a pessimist because i'm also a realist, and reality shows me that shit doesn't often happen the way i want it to. so, i might as well expect the worst. why? because if i expect the best and the worst happens, i'll be disapointed-- and i fucking hate to be disapointed. so, if i'm pessmistic and good shit happens, i'm willing to face the fact that i was wrong in my expectations and rejoice in goodness happening. either way, i win. it even worked for me in the beginning of my (unregistered) business. i thought, "what the fuck, i might as well sell my fab product. someone will probably buy it." i expected to sell maybe 24 each week and make a little extra cash. i ended up selling more than 4 times this. while i sometimes curse my newfound/pessimism-born fortune because i'd rather sleep/read/go to rock shows/fuck/stare at a wall-- duty calls: and i'm fabulously happy with the turnout. if i'd thought i could sell more than 100 per week, i might not've begun because it would've seemed like too much work. what works? pessmisism. pessmimism works. now i won't knock optimism, it has its time and its place. like when you're trying to heal or when you're jumping out of a plane or when the condom breaks.* i used to be an idealist, and it depressed me and made me take life too seriously and got me into all sorts of fucking shitty trouble. but sometimes it feels good, so i do it. fantasyland can be a fun time-- but it doesn't get shit done. that's why, as a general rule, i vote for pessimism. it works for me!

*if the condom breaks, further action must be taken. my period takes no responsibility for unwanted pregnancies such as the one that resulted in my birth.