you brought her, you picnic (er, um, yeah)

most. amazing. day. ever.

after many choice words of the complicated, edgy and melancholy nature, we decided to say fuck it and give it a go in the wild. shopped for groceries. packed soy mayo in a tiny baby mustard jar. made sandwiches, prepared other foodies for picnic and headed off up route6away, into the woods, along the tracks (which oddly had me feeling very petranoid) and thru the brambles and thickets scratchyscracthscratch up into the coolest clearing ever where nobody treads but my lover. he had built an amazing inukshuk, a cock-n-ball and a coupla random piles of rocks. i was so inuit that i stripped off and ran around the rocks, letting the dry moss crunch beneath my feet. we smoked our prepared bowl, and settled in for the coolest, sexiest picnic ever.

we enjoyed:

-samosas

-rye and kamut sandwiches with hicory-smoked tofurkey slices with greens and soy mayo

-calamyrnia figs

-plump and juicy thompson's raisins

-peach soy yogourt

-carrots

-carob coconut chews

it was surreal. i was so high i choked on my samosa because it felt like it was swelling in my throat when i tried to speak and laugh and recall stupid observations. then some specific oral action, during which i saw verdant meadows full of hundreds of pink bunnies bouncing in synch amid brilliant yellow flowers. that, and hundreds of other ulta-saccharine (but heavenly) images for about 20 blissful minutes. we found the water reserve, once again stripped down and dipped in the lake. i used to hate lakes because i'm an ocean snob, but this was phenomenal. we did less swimming than i expected, yet we were in the water a long time. and no, HRM, we didn't screw in your water reserve. the night continued to be awesome at home, minus the discovery of 15 or so horrific-looking bug bites, 8 or so of which are on my neck. looks like, but unfortunately isn't, evidence of a vampire gang-rape. despite the lack of vampire gang-rapes, the day exceeded any princess and pony/barbie dream house/pessimist-idealist expectations i'd been gathering of the perfect dreamy afternoon.

best. fucking. picnic. ever.

thanks, maven.