Thursday, March 09, 2006

three letters

dear french 33 year-old unemployed teacher who took 21 students (and two others) hostage today,

it sucks you're out of work. the only thing worse than having a job is looking for one. you might have, however, considered looking for work in another field while trying to make your point about the lack of jobs for teachers in france (or consider why perhaps they wouldn't give you a job) rather than holding students hostage. it sucks you're depressed, too. so seek help (i'm sure you'll have little choice now anyway). good luck getting a teaching job now.

love,

bean

dear state of georgia,

consentual sex is consentual sex. i know it's law in your state to prosecute those found having sex under the age of consent, and the law is the law and all that-- but fuck-- it happens all the g_d damned time and she was 15. and he was 17. it's not as if she were 12 and he was 24 or something. and she was willing. and it was oral sex. oh wait-- it was illegal for a husband and wife to enjoy oral sex in your state until 1998-- and punishable with up to 20 years prison time. what the fuck? regardless, 10 years is WAY too long of a sentence for this
fellow. rethink. put your energies elsewhere.

love,

bean

dear birdflu,

don't even.

love,
bean

4 comments:

lycradog said...

Dude - it's GEORGIA! Aren't these the same people who think evolution and global warming are commie plots or liberal media bias or something?
In bizarre and frightening twist, however, the Center for Disease Control is in Atlanta, and they've got the best shot of anyone at saving our asses from bird flu, so let's cut them some slack until this whole pandemic business goes away. If they need some innocent horny high school kids behind bars in order to legally test prototype flu vaccines, fine.

lucifuge said...

it is indeed georgia- but still. and-- i think there're enough inmates who aren't that boy that they can test vaccines on. and mayhaps they will. go CDCA go!

ling-ling san said...

okay. i like. bird flu is cool and everything, but...

but for your next update, i would really like to see your input on the new disney remake of the classic, "the shaggy dog" with tim allen and kristin davis.

because it's clean fun and something the while family can enjoy.

thanks in advance, your Beanness

ling-ling san said...

whole family. "whole."

not 'while' family.