here's some more useless drivel for your pile

the world is overwhelming. it's different than it used to be. to the perceptive and compassionate, i give props to those of you who are balanced enough to handle it-- to wake up, get your ass ready and walk out into the world. it's often quite difficult. today i had to try it a few times. even when there's nothing specifically wrong in one's life, paying attention to your surroundings and knowing how to brave it is tough. and to those who can't quite make it out the door, or those who don't go about it the conventional way, i hope everyone else can try to understand you or commend your effort. today the shit is numerous-- there's too much of everything in our part of the world-- too many bands, too many razors, too many wars, too many pairs of shoes, too many career choices and too much information in general. most days i abhor technology and resent the information age. i'd love to receive more letters. i'd be content to pay with cash, not plastic. i'd be just as happy to have to go to a libary and look something up, or be content to not know all the useless shit we google (or wiki) to fill up our time and minds and hearts with pointless facts to impress or to comfort or to procrastinate. it's cool if you just really truly want to know, but i know i wouldn't've walked to the library as often as i use google. it's what we're used to and what's expected of us. i'm trying to strike a balance, to find a comfort zone, but i do find it overwhelming and frightening and negative. we have many more choices and it's fucked to have to wade thru all the shit to find the right thing or the one that makes the most sense. some days it's tough to see it in a shiny light. sometimes things get too shiny and we make a mask to hide away and then it cracks. it's hard to know. i am okay-- i'm just sayin.' this has been the theme of the day.