change at quimpy

oh-- it's a bear with a huge penis, and breasts and he has a pentagram for a face-- and he has a cleaver.
and he's jizzing.
it's a satanic hermaphrodite killer bear.
oh my god, that was on your bill? oh my god, i'm sorry.
yeah, i'm keeping this bill to buy something at jeanna's cash.
that's awesome.
we should spend it on porn.
shit-- it has a cleaver, and it's jizzing. it's a fucking bear!

carcass sharvin'

i will be crushed, confused, appalled frightened if the world decides to embrace meat grown in a fucking petri dish, yet not to eliminating eating meat altogether.
p.s. the world's citizens consume 240 billion kg of meat each year. that, in case you're not sure, is a serious slutload of rotting flesh.

my period: the magic 8 ball for your period

whatever. whatever.
these are the kids trolling around on the interweb. this is what the assholes want to know about. this is where they come to find out about:

	2	8.00%	when is my next period
	2	8.00%	sex with sister
	2	8.00%	panties for your period
	1	4.00%	have period while sex
	1	4.00%	machinefuck
	1	4.00%	pics of my sister
	1	4.00%	on my period
	1	4.00%	lick my period blood
	1	4.00%	when is my period
	1	4.00%	shit stains
	1	4.00%	about my period
	1	4.00%	wife in white panties
	1	4.00%	i like to shit my panties and make my husband eat it
	1	4.00%	having sex with my sister
	1	4.00%	only sister fucking pics only
	1	4.00%	teacher in white panties
	1	4.00%	sister sex
	1	4.00%	my period
	1	4.00%	my sister fucked by me
	1	4.00%	when am i going to get my period
	1	4.00%	fuck my little sister
	1	4.00%	consentual sex

i'm not fucking kidding.

blogging is dead to me.

blogging is dead to me.
i can't say i won't do it anymore, or even that i no longer want to do it anymore, but it is dead to me. this blog was better when i told you more about myself. now i don't want to. and it's boring. part of me is sorry, the other part doesn't care. anyway, see y'around, in some capacity.

chercher ma plotte

most times, clicking on "next blog" will lead you to something not as cool or relevant (read: incomprehensible and worthless) as the ones you normally read. but occasionally, you find a few cool, if not edgy blogs.
and then you run across something as awesome as this. check out a few of your favourite things. distract yourself from the lack of fresh fruit from the loins of from my period.

three letters

dear french 33 year-old unemployed teacher who took 21 students (and two others) hostage today,

it sucks you're out of work. the only thing worse than having a job is looking for one. you might have, however, considered looking for work in another field while trying to make your point about the lack of jobs for teachers in france (or consider why perhaps they wouldn't give you a job) rather than holding students hostage. it sucks you're depressed, too. so seek help (i'm sure you'll have little choice now anyway). good luck getting a teaching job now.

love,
bean

dear state of georgia,

consentual sex is consentual sex. i know it's law in your state to prosecute those found having sex under the age of consent, and the law is the law and all that-- but fuck-- it happens all the g_d damned time and she was 15. and he was 17. it's not as if she were 12 and he was 24 or something. and she was willing. and it was oral sex. oh wait-- it was illegal for a husband and wife to enjoy oral sex in your state until 1998-- and punishable with up to 20 years prison time. what the fuck? regardless, 10 years is WAY too long of a sentence for this fellow. rethink. put your energies elsewhere.

love,
bean

dear birdflu,

don't even.

love,
bean

the feces files

if i have to shit one more time today i'm going to choke myself to death with my own feces. on a lighter note, i'm enjoying and distracting myself with a much sought-after x-files (fourth season) marathon.

when i say motley, you say crue!

today i'm going through drafts that i didn't post for one reason or another. mostly laziness and my lack of motivation to finish them. here's one:

it's still fairly fresh in my mind-- although i've stopped reeling: i saw mötley crüe. it wows me when i consider that i'd talked myself down from anticipation as recently as two days before the show. we had great fucking seats. scanning the crowd, it seemed i was the only one dressed ironically (except for one eager dude wearing a denim vest and a pink headband-- altho he looked more ready for a springsteen show). immediately, there were "little people". on the best of days, i'm not a fan of "midget" jokes or exploitation. if this were 5 years ago, i would have let it ruin the show-- but not tonight. i had to resign myself to believing the little people were well paid---perhaps even with pussy-- so whatev. i'm sure they weren't really whipping them that hard. also, there were hot lady acrobats who essentially made the show for me. climbing ladders and crawling along the floor like cats and using welding apparati and just plain being sexxxy.

vince neil: you're right in front of me. you look and act just like an old boyfriend (or rather he just like you. i didn't notice until now). so hot. you still know how to hold a crowd more than your counterparts, perhaps by your straightfowardness and conectedness to the reality before you. what?

nikki sixx: evil. you died twice. i liked the multiple "fucks" on your jacket and pants. you looked younger than i'd've guessed you would in person.

mick mars: your spine is fucking fused. i still wonder how you put up with these guys so long. you were such a sight to behold. i wanted to give you a hug.

tommy lee: you're lucky you're a hot ticket, because you seem like kind of a wank. worst. banter. ever. i did, however, enjoy how lame some of your gimmics were. i was all over it. did you hear me scream "methods of mayhem!" whenever you were a wank?

you're all lucky you're still alive and that people came in droves to see you. actually, i'm quite surprised at the turnout.

* i didn't really finish commenting on this show, so let it be known that "Live Wire" was my favourite moment of the night. that's all.